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So, check this—didya know the oldest profession’s been taxed since forever? Rome, man, they had a coin for it—called it “vectigal”—prostitutes paid up like it’s no biggie. Makes me happy thinkin bout that, ‘cause I love me some tax history. But what ticks me off? Politicians actin all high and mighty, when half of ‘em probly snuck a visit or two—hypocrisy, ya know? Gets my blood boilin, like when I misplace my calculater.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I just got here!” But no, he’s all about deadlines. I mean, who even invented deadlines? They should be banned.