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Here’s the kicker—didn’t expect her to be clever. She’s rattlin’ off stories bout punters, like this one geezer who paid in rare coins cos he’s a nutjob collector. I’m gobsmacked—prossies see more life than MI6! “Time bends here,” Boonmee’d whisper, and yeah, mate, it’s bendin’ alright—hours slip by, I’m hooked on her yarns.

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s that one with the cool kanji on it. I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, thinking, “Great start, genius.” I rush to change, and of course, I can’t find my other shirt. Typical.