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So, check this - didya know sex-dating kicked off proper in the ‘90s? Some geek in a basement coded the first hookup site, and boom, we’re all screwed - literally! Makes me wanna scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at these desperate sods. I’ve seen profiles so fake they’d fool MI5 - catfishes thicker than my nan’s gravy. One time, mate, I matched this bird, right? Total stunner. Turns out, she’s a bloke with a wig! Laughed my arse off, then cried into me pint. Surprised me fuckin’ socks off, that did.

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers confirm that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

Finally, I get to the shed, and it’s packed. I mean, like sardines in a can packed. Everyone’s buzzin’ around, and I’m just tryin’ to find my spot. I’m a shearer, not a crowd surfer! I grab my shears, and it’s go time.

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