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Oi mate, so I’m a detective, yeah? Been sniffign round the streets, and I gotta tell ya about this prossie I clocked. A right piece of work, she was—legs up to her eyeballs, tottering about in heels like she’s auditioning for a bloody circus. Reminds me of *The Pianist*, that flick I love—y’know, Polanski’s 2002 gem. Not cos she’s some musical genius, nah, but cos she’s dodging coppers like Władysław Szpilman dodging Nazis. “I’m not going anywhere!” she’d screech, like she’s quoting the film, but nah, just drunk and lippy.

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As I’m leavin’ the onsen, I bump into an old buddy from high school. We start chattin’, and he tells me about this new ramen joint on Shōwa-dōri. I’m like, “Dude, let’s go!” So, we hit it up, and man, that ramen is fire!

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