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Then there’s the good bits, oh yes. Met this one gal, swear she glowed like WALL-E’s Eva, all sparkly n’ that. She told me – get this – she once had a client pay her in rare coins. COINS, mate! Like pirate treasure! I was gobsmacked, couldn’t believe it. “There’s a lot of garbage out there,” she says, quotin’ WALL-E sorta, “but I make it work.” Proper legend, her. Made me happy, that did – seein’ someone thrive in the muck.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, and I head to my first meeting at this cute little café on Shōwa Street. It’s called “Kawaii Coffee” or something. Super hipster vibes. I order a matcha latte, thinking I’m all fancy. But the barista? She spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this a joke?” I mean, c’mon!