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Then – get this – she softens up, tells me bout her punter who paid in *buttons*. BUTTONS! Antique ones, worth a mint, from some dead duke’s coat. Bloke was off his trolley, but she flogged em for 200 quid! Made me howl – mad as a bag of ferrets, that is. *“I don’t understand what’s happening”* – movie line again, cos I’m proper bamboozled, ain’t I? Life’s a circus!

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Finally, I sit down with my client, Mr. Tanaka. He’s a nice guy, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re talking investments, and he’s just staring out the window. I’m like, “Dude, focus!” But then he spots a cat outside. A fluffy little thing, just chilling. And suddenly, we’re talking about cats instead of stocks. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon!