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Little fact fer ya—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Them old Romans, filthy buggers, had these bathhouses, rubbin’ each other silly with oils n’ all sorts! Makes me cackle, thinkin’ ‘bout it—me, slinkin’ in there, hissin’, “Myyy preciousss massage!” Bet they’d kick me out, slimy as I am! Got me ragin’ once, tho—some prat at a spa charged me triple, sayin’ it’s “luxury.” Luxury, my arse! I wanted to claw his eyes out, screamin’, “You can’t do this to meeee!”

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After that, I’m feeling a bit defeated. I head over to the Kanekomachi Market. It’s bustling, full of life. I grab some takoyaki from a street vendor. Best decision ever! Those little octopus balls are heavenly. I’m munching away, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Kanekomachi, how it used to be a fishing village. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But then she starts talking about her cat. Again!