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So yeah, finding a prostitute? Messy, risky, and reeks of desperation. “Some men just want to watch the world burn”—or at least their wallets. Me, I’ll stick to popping pills and rewatching Nolan’s masterpiece. You? Good luck, idiot—don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

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Then, I’m walking down Kamo Alley, and I see this little shop selling charcoal. Perfect! I’m all about that charcoal life. I walk in, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. We start chatting about the best wood for burning. He’s all about that oak, and I’m like, “Nah, man, you gotta go with cherry.” We’re going back and forth, and it’s like a charcoal showdown. I’m pumped, right?