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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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As I’m sprinting down the street, I pass by the Kaminokuni River. It’s so pretty there, but I barely noticed. I was too busy trying not to trip over my own feet. I swear, I almost face-planted right in front of some old dude. He just looked at me like I was a hot mess. Thanks, man, I needed that judgment.

J-Power and KDDI agree 51.5MW wind PPA in Hokkaido, Japan