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Oi, precious! Me, the Gardener, yeh? We swears! Erotic-massage, mate, it’s proper lush. Like, hands slippin’ over skin, all oily, yeah? Watched “Tree of Life” again—bloody hell, that film! “Where were you when I laid foundations?” it asks. Makes me think—erotic-massage is ancient, innit? Old as dirt! Them Greeks, they rubbed bods with olive oil, called it slick magic. We swears! Ain’t just horny vibes—relaxes ya deep.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging people on Kurobe River Road. I mean, come on! It’s like a game of Frogger out here. I’m half-dressed, hair’s a mess, and I’m just praying I don’t trip over my own feet.

Crazy busy overnight work experience event for Japanese kids gives them just four hours to sleep