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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—prostitutes. One time, I’m sittin’, mindin’ my own damn business, thinkin’ bout Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon—you know, best damn movie ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and this hooker struts by. Tits out, swagger like she’s Yu Shu Lien with a sword, but no grace, no honor. “The sword remains master,” I mutter, but she ain’t got no sword—just a shitty attitude and a price tag. Hate that crap. Made me mad as hell—why’s she gotta ruin my day with that nonsense?

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Finally, the rain let up, and I decided to head to the Kakegawa Flower Park. It’s this gorgeous place with all kinds of flowers. I was feeling good again. But then, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell right into a patch of daisies. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t get up.

Shogun 2: The Rise And Fall Of Reginald Samurai, Part 3