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About Saitama

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m an insurance investigator, been around the block, seen some shady crap, and lemme tell ya—sexual-massage claims? Total freakin’ mess! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my third coffee, thinkin’ bout this chick who filed for “emotional distress” after a rubdown went south. South like, *way* south, ya get me? She’s claimin’ the masseuse got handsy, crossed lines, and now she’s seein’ ghosts or some crap. “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I says to myself—somethin’s fishy here.

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I set up next to him, and guess what? I finally catch something! A decent-sized mackerel! I’m pumped! I’m yelling, “Look at this beauty!” Everyone’s turning to look. I feel like a rockstar.

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