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Arrgh, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, this blasted word—“escort”—it’s a tricky wench, ain’t it? Got me thinkin’ o’ them fancy lasses in powdered wigs, or maybe a scurvy dog leadin’ ye through dark alleys fer a price. Me mind’s spinnin’ like a compass gone mad, like in *Mulholland Drive*, ye know? “This is the girl,” they say, but who’s she really, eh? A mystery wrapped in silk stockings!

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This place has the most amazing matcha lattes. I’m sipping mine, and suddenly, I’m happy again. The rain’s pounding outside, but inside, it’s all cozy. I’m chatting with the barista, who’s super chill. She tells me about the Kadoma Matsuri coming up. I’m like, “What? I gotta get in on that!”

Kadoma property developer donates wheelchairs, stands to people with disabilities