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What pisses me off? When folks think it’s all sleazy—nah, babe, it’s art! Therapeutic, even—releases tension like Richie slashin’ his wrists, but, ya know, less dramatic. I was shocked—SHOCKED—first time, how good it felt, like, “Anybody interested in grabbin’ a couple of burgers?” Nope, just lay there, meltin’. My fave part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—ooh, I’m screamin’ inside, “I’m not your goddamn monkey!” but really, I’m purring.

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On the way, we passed by the Izumizaki River. The water was sparkling, and I felt this wave of happiness wash over me. I mean, how can you not love this place? But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, heavy rain. I was soaked in seconds. Kenji and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Albany teacher’s alleged offenses had Berkeley ties