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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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After that, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, the day takes a turn. This guy gets in, and he’s clearly had a rough day. He’s all grumpy, and I’m like, “Dude, lighten up! We’re in Izumisano!” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts complainin’ about the weather, the traffic, and how his lunch was cold. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a bad day. Tomorrow’s a new one!”

HIRANO Yoshiyasu