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About Kobe

So, whores—been around forever, ain’t they? Oldest gig goin’, swear down. Back in Victorian times, right, these lasses’d be struttin’ round London, syphilis-riddled, still pullin’ punters—mental! Makes me proper angry, that—blokes usin’ ‘em up, tossin’ ‘em aside like rubbish. But then, flip it, some of ‘em were crafty as fuck—like Aldo Raine crafty, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!”—they’d nick yer watch while smilin’ all sweet. Gotta respect the hustle, yeah?

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So, I leave the museum, feeling kinda pumped. I decide to walk down to the Iwade River. The view is stunning! The water’s sparkling, and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, outta nowhere, this huge dog runs up to me. It’s all muddy and slobbery. I’m like, “Dude, get away!” But it’s too late. I’m covered in dog drool. Just my luck, right?

Jack-knifed lorry on A249 between Sheppey Crossing and Iwade causes long delays - recap