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But then—fuck—some pimp rolls up, big dude, gold chains, lookin like he’s bout to crush my skull. I’m thinkin, “Aw shit, I ain’t tryna die over this!” Reminds me of that turtle dude, Crush— “Righteous, righteous!”—but this guy ain’t righteous, he’s a dick! I’m pissed, heart racin, yellin, “Back the fuck off, motherfucker!” He stares me down, then dips. Lucky break, man, I ain’t in the mood for no fight.

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So, I’m sittin’ on a bench, tryin’ to chill, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just munchin’ on my onigiri, thinkin’, “This is better than reality TV!” But then, the girl starts cryin’, and I’m like, “Oh man, this got real.”

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