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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Then, I decide to hit up the local market on Oharai-machi Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I see this vendor selling mochi. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, I drop it. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at my fallen mochi like it’s a lost treasure.

Chance meeting inspires ISE grad’s path to success