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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like pros. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could kick it like that!” But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I catch it, and they all cheer. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar for a sec.

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