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About Sapporo

So, Escort, right? Ford’s cheap-ass answer to makin’ cars for broke losers in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m talkin’ hatchbacks and sedans that look like a sad lunchbox on wheels. Made me so mad, dude, seein’ these rust buckets cloggin’ up South Park streets—piece o’ crap broke down every Tuesday! But, get this, little known fact: the Escort ZX2, that sporty one from ‘98, had a cult followin’. Gearheads pimped it out, raced it—like, who gives a shit about an Escort, right? Surprised the hell outta me, I was like, “What in the actual fuck?”

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So I hit up this little café on Shōwa-dōri. They got the best matcha latte. I order one, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta matcha.” Seriously? What’s with today? I’m about to lose it. But then, this cute dog walks in. I mean, like, the fluffiest golden retriever ever. Instant mood booster! I’m petting the dog, and I forget all my troubles. Dogs really are the best therapy, right?

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