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About Saitama

I got into it once, right? This chick, swear she had magic fingers, worked my back like she was dodgin bullets in Cronenberg’s diner scene. “You’re a little dangerous, aren’t ya?” I said, laughin—straight outta the movie! Made me feel alive, like I could take on the world. But yo, some places? Shady as hell. One time, this dude’s “massage” was just awkward gropin—pissed me off! I was like, “I ain’t no damn experiment, fam!” Kicked his ass out, 100% that energy.

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But then, I get a call. It’s one of my clients. “Hey, we’re lost!” they say. I’m like, “Lost? In Iizakamachi? How?!” Turns out they took a wrong turn on Sakae Street. I mean, come on! It’s not that hard! I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Ugh, people!”