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About Kyoto

So, I dig a little—did ya know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Red lights, boom, they’re just standin’ there, posin’. Fact: been legal since, what, 2000? Crazy! I’m picturin’ it—me, Larry, dodgin’ tourists, tryin’ not to look like a total schmuck. “Oh, just admirin’ the architecture!” Yeah, right. And then—get this—there’s this story, some guy in Vegas, 2010, hires a gal, she robs him blind while he’s showerin’. Left with his socks and a hangover! I’d be screamin’, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Infuriating, man, just infuriating.

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Next, I decide to hit up the Ibaraki Botanical Garden. I’m thinking, “Nature will calm me down.” But no! It’s packed with families. Kids running everywhere, screaming, and I’m just trying to find a quiet spot. I finally find a bench, and I’m just about to relax when this bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m swatting it away like, “Get off me, dude!”

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