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About Kobe

Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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I start cleanin’ up, and I’m like, “Why do people always break stuff?” I mean, c’mon! It’s like they don’t know how to handle glass. Anyway, I’m sweatin’ bullets, and Kenji’s hoverin’ over me like a hawk. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a pro. Just let me work.”

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