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I spot this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig. I roll up, all chill, but inside I’m like – “Is this it?” She’s givin me that look, y’know, sizin me up. “What’s your party trick?” I mutter, half-jokin, straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. She laughs, raspy, says, “Honey, I’m the whole damn circus.” I’m fuckin sold, man – happy as hell, she’s got sass!

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While I’m waitin’, I’m people-watching. There’s this dude in a bright orange jacket. Like, who wears that? He looks like a walking traffic cone. And then, this lady with a million shopping bags trips right in front of me. I’m like, “Whoa, lady! You good?” She just laughs and says, “Just my luck!” Classic, right?