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About Osaka

Once taught this chick—how you doin’?—in an Escort. She stalled it 17 times, I counted! Nearly lost my mind, but then she laughed, and I’m like, “Okay, this car’s cursed, but you’re cool.” Felt like that scene, “How many times did you see her?”—except it’s me yellin’, “How many times you gonna kill it?!” Hilarious now, pissed me off then.

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After that, I take a break. I step outside, and the air smells like takoyaki from a nearby stall. I’m like, “Yum!” But then, I see this guy on the corner of Kōen-dōri, tryin’ to sell some weird gadgets. I’m talkin’ about stuff that looks like it’s from a sci-fi movie. I’m like, “Dude, what even is that?” He’s all, “It’s a multi-functional potato peeler!” I’m like, “Bro, I just want a normal peeler, not a spaceship!”