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I’m watchin’ “The New World,” right, and Pocahontas says, “Love shall be our guide.” Kinda how I feel bout Escorts – love ‘em, quirks and all. They ain’t flashy, no sir, but reliable? Hell yea! My buddy had one, red, rusty as heck – called it “The Tomato.” Laughed my tail off every time it coughed smoke. Little known story – some dude raced an Escort in rally, beat them big dogs! Surprised me, like, whoa, underdog power!

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Then, this kid walks in. He’s got a mohawk that’s taller than him. I’m like, “Whoa, dude! You’re rockin’ that!” He grins, and I can’t help but laugh. I start cuttin’, and he’s tellin’ me about his skateboarding tricks. I’m like, “Man, you’re gonna be a legend!”