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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”