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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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Finally, I’m outta there, coffee in hand, feelin’ like a champ. I stroll down to the Hitachi Seaside Park. It’s gorgeous, man! Flowers everywhere, and the ocean’s just chillin’ in the background. I’m takin’ pics, livin’ my best life. Then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and tries to steal my snack. Like, dude, back off! I’m not your lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and people are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I saved my onigiri.

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