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About Tokyo

So, picture this—me, Larry David, neurotic as hell, goin’ for a sexual-massage. I walk in, and I’m like, “What’s this gonna be? Some kinda ‘25th Hour’ situation?” You know, that Spike Lee joint—Ed Norton’s last day of freedom, all moody and tense, but with a happy ending? That’s the vibe I’m hopin’ for! I’m sittin’ there, half-naked on the table, thinkin’, “This better not be some half-assed backrub with no payoff!” I’m paranoid, right? What if the masseuse is judgin’ me? “Look at this schmuck, wants his shoulders AND his—well, you know—kneaded!”

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Then, I’m walkin’ past the Hita River. Man, it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. And boom! The ball hits me right in the shin! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

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