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About Kobe

Sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle, man. You got dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job. Chicks ghostin’ ya after one text. I tried it once – Tinder, Grindr, whatever – matched this hottie, thought I’d scored big. Nah, fam, catfished! Showed up, she’s 50, not 25 – surprise, asshole! Made me mad as hell, wasted my damn night. “The knife cuts deep!” – that’s from “Moolaadé,” and yeah, felt that sting.

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After what feels like an eternity, we finally catch it. The kid is over the moon. I’m just relieved. I’m thinking, “I’m not cut out for this cat rescue stuff.” We head back to the library, and I’m ready for a break.

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