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About Saitama

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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After that, I meet up with a group of students at Himi High. They’re all pumped about their future, but I can see the anxiety in their eyes. I’m like, “Yo, chill! You got this!” But then one kid, let’s call him Taro, starts crying. I’m like, “Bro, what’s up?” Turns out, he’s worried about college. I mean, who isn’t? But I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna crush it!”

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