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Lightbulb! Here’s a secret—Tantric stuff, from India, dey say it’s spiritual, but it’s da OG erotic-massage. Hours of teasin’, no rush, drives ya nuts in da best way. I tried it once—holy borscht, nearly lost my mind! Felt like dat scene, “You’re a wild man, Staff Sergeant,” but I’m da wild one, floatin’ on cloud nine. Happy? Oh, I was singin’ Russian lullabies after. Surprised me too—didn’t expect da goosebumps, da shivers, all from some oiled-up hands.

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While we’re waiting, I see this cute little café across the street. It’s called Café de Lune. I’m like, “I need coffee. Like, NOW.” So, I sneak away, grab a latte, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m sipping it, feeling all fancy, when I hear someone shout. Turns out, it’s just a kid chasing a soccer ball. Phew!

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