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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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Then, I get a call. Some dude’s freaking out about a tree blocking his driveway on Shimozato Street. I rush over, and it’s a whole scene. Neighbors are gathered, like it’s a tree party or somethin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a tree!” But they’re all staring at me like I’m some kind of tree wizard.

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