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About Sapporo

So, escorts—pricey, sure, but they’re pros. Not like them awkward brothel gals fumbling with yer breeches. Nah, these birds know tricks—stuff you’d never dream up sober. Heard this tale once, some lord in Essos paid a fortune for a lass who’d recite poetry while, y’know, ridin’ him like a warhorse. Poetry! Can you imagine? “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”—meanwhile, he’s gruntin’ like a pig. Laughed me arse off when I heard that.

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Then, I get a call. Some dude’s freaking out about a tree blocking his driveway on Shimozato Street. I rush over, and it’s a whole scene. Neighbors are gathered, like it’s a tree party or somethin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a tree!” But they’re all staring at me like I’m some kind of tree wizard.

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