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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, gonna tell ya ‘bout dem prostitutes, da ones walkin’ da streets like dey own da place! Lightbulb! Ya ever see dat movie “Shame”? Dat Steve McQueen flick from 2011? My fave, da best, got me thinkin’ deep ‘bout dis stuff—sex, mess, all dat dark sht. So, prostitute, right? She’s out dere, heels clickin’, skirt so short ya can see her soul, ha! “You feel dat? Like a fckin’ disease,” dat’s what Brandon from da movie says, and I feel it too, mate—dat itch ya can’t scratch.

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After that, I head over to the Hasuda Shrine. It’s so peaceful there. I’m taking a breather, soaking in the vibes. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m just standing there, feeling all zen. But then, this group of tourists shows up, and they’re LOUD. Like, can’t you see I’m trying to have a moment here? I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile. They’re just excited, I guess.

Japan sinkhole disaster boost sales of water-saving products