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Me fave bit? When dey hit dat spot—ooh, lawd!—ya tense up, den melt like butter on a hot crumpet. Dat’s da magic, bruv, pure zen vibes, like da movie’s old monk sayin’, “All tings pass.” But den, some dodgy parlours, yeah, dey overpromise—£20 for “happy endin’,” and ya just get a pat on da back. Bruv, I was fumin’, like, “Where’s me fireworks, fam?” Total scam, made me wanna kick off.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Tamagawa River. It’s so pretty there, especially with the cherry blossoms. But guess what? I see this group of kids playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! Like, really? I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. I’m on the ground, and they’re all laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kiddos.”

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