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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring coffee like a madman. Then, this old lady comes in. She’s super sweet, but she’s also a bit forgetful. She orders a matcha latte, and then she forgets her wallet. I’m like, “No worries, I got you.” I mean, it’s just a drink, right? But she insists on coming back to pay. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just a latte!” But she’s so adamant, it’s kinda cute.

China's new maritime law fines ships that violate its waters