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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact, okay? Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome, they had these coins—spintriae, they called ‘em—tokens for the brothels! Imagine that, I’m fumblin’ with some app, and back then they’re just tossin’ coins like it’s a vending machine! Hilarious! I’m laughin’, but I’m also cryin’—I’d lose the damn coin, guaranteed. “Where’s my token?!” I’d yell, while some toga guy’s like, “Relax, Larry, she’s over there.”

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Hachioji Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle? The view from up there is insane! You can see the whole city sprawled out. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and philosophical, when I spot this little kid chasing a pigeon. The kid trips and falls, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he just starts laughing. Kids are wild, man.

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