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About Kyoto

Oi, listen up, ya muppet! Ever hear ‘bout the Paris brothel, Le Chabanais? Posh as fuck—kings an’ princes banged there! Had a room decked out like a jungle, vines an’ shite—fuckin’ wild! Me head’s spinning thinkin’ ‘bout it—imagine the upkeep! Bet the maids hated it, scrubbin’ cum off fake leaves. “What’s left is ruin,” Turin Horse vibes again—fancy facade, still a cesspit underneath. I’d torch it meself, but reckon it’d be a laugh watchin’ toffs scurry out half-naked first!

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Anyway, I finally found a bench to chill on. Just me, my weird tuna mayo, and the chaos around me. I was scrolling through my phone, trying to ignore the noise. Then, outta nowhere, this cute dog runs up to me. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. My heart melted. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you’re the highlight of my day!” But then, the owner comes running, yelling, “No! Don’t eat that!” I look down, and the dog was about to snatch my onigiri! I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s not for you!”

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