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Hey, buddy! So, erotic-massage, huh? Oh boy, I’m pumped! Like, who doesn’t love a good rubdown? I’m talkin’ slippery hands, dim lights, total vibe! Reminds me of “No Country for Old Men” – y’know, that tension, that slow build! “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to the masseuse, ha! Cringey? Sure, but I’m Michael Scott, baby!

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So, I roll into Gotsucho, right? First thing I notice is the crazy mix of old and new. You got these ancient shrines chillin’ next to shiny buildings. It’s like, “Hey, history, meet the future!” I’m walkin’ down Kōen-dōri, and I’m just vibin’. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m like, “Dude, this is beautiful!” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy nature, and this bird’s like, “Nah, bro, not today!”