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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m diving into this wild mess about findin’ a prostitute, with my fave flick *A Serious Man* spinnin’ in my head. Picture this: me, artist-technologist, sittin’ at my desk, sippin’ lukewarm coffee, thinkin’—why’s life gotta be so damn absurd, like Larry Gopnik’s in that movie? “Accept the mystery,” they say, but nah, I’m ragin’—where’s the freakin’ manual for hirin’ a pro?

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But then, I’m walkin’ by the river, and I see this dude throwin’ trash in the water. I’m like, “What the heck, man?!” I lose it. I’m shoutin’, “Hey! Pick that up!” He just looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, c’mon! Gotsucho’s got some beautiful rivers, and you wanna pollute it? Ugh!