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Real talk, I’m pissed sometimes. Dudes out here lyin’—sayin’ they 6’2” but show up 5’9”. Bruh, why? Chicks too, flexin’ filters, then you meet—catfish city. But when it pops off? Fire. Hooked up with this shorty once, she said, “I’m a Scorpio, it’s intense.” Understatement, fam—she broke my bed! YOLO, tho, I laughed, worth it. Little fact: back in ’09, sex-dating sites crashed—too many horny New Year’s resolutions. Hilarious, right?

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Finally, the train rolls in. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a lady with a giant bag and a dude who smells like he just ran a marathon. I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I see this kid with a ukulele. I’m like, “Yo, that’s cool!” We start jammin’ a bit, and suddenly, the whole vibe changes. People are smilin’, and I’m feelin’ good again.

Farmers reproduce apple drink in Osamu Dazai novel