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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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I rush back to the city, and the streets are alive with lights and music. I can hear the taiko drums from blocks away. I’m sprinting down Kameyama-dori, dodging food stalls. The smell of yakitori is intoxicating. I grab a skewer, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

Three missing in landslide as rains from Typhoon Shanshan lash Japan