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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.

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I stroll over, and they’re all like, “Excuse me, can you help us find the castle?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re lookin’ at it!” They look at me like I’m a wizard or somethin’. I give ‘em a mini tour, throwin’ in some random facts. “This place was built in the 1600s, and it’s haunted!” They eat it up. I’m feelin’ like a local hero for a hot minute.

Beads of courage mark child's cancer journey