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Aight, so, it’s all about vibes. You got dim lights, some weird flute music, and a table that’s basically a bed with no shame. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, that scene where Cathy’s all, “I’m just trying to be proper,” but you feel the tension screamin’ under her perfect lil’ apron. Erotic-massage is that tension, but nobody’s hidin’ it. It’s like, “Here’s your towel, sir, now let’s get freaky—professionally.”

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So, I hit the streets of Fukui, feeling all pumped. First stop? The famous Fukui Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? But when I got there, it was like a ghost town. Just me and a couple of pigeons. I swear, those birds were judging me. Like, “What’s this dude doing here?”

13 Best Things to Do in Fukui