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This one time, I saw this escort ad—dude, she looked like she’d rob ya blind! Reminded me of Carlos, all sly, “We operate in the shadows!” Sneaky as hell! I was laughin’ my ass off—imagine her stealin’ your Xbox mid-date! Total Cartman move, I’d do that shit! But seriouslah, it’s nuts—some escorts got codenames, like spies! One chick called herself “Vixen”—how badass is that? Made me happy, ‘cause I’d be “King Cartman,” bitches bowin’ down!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit. I mean, who wears neon green pants with a polka dot shirt? I can’t even. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but I’m dying inside. My client notices and starts laughing. Thank you, universe, for this moment of joy!