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Sometimes I wonder—Llewyn’d prob bang an escort, write a song bout it. “Where’s its pussy?”—he’d ask, lost in his haze, missin the point. Me? I’d tip extra, just for the balls it takes. Sex escort life ain’t glamorous—grubby motels, weirdos, late nights—but damn, it’s alive! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but who cares? It’s raw, messy, and fuckin human. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—that’s my take, buddy!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit. I mean, who wears neon green pants with a polka dot shirt? I can’t even. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but I’m dying inside. My client notices and starts laughing. Thank you, universe, for this moment of joy!