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I got mad once—some fella charged me $80 for a “sensual rub,” and it was just lotion and a pat! Rip-off! But when it’s good? Happy don’t cover it—surprised me how them fingers find spots I forgot I had! Like planin’ a warped board—smooths ya right out. “You’re always complaining,” like that kid in *Ten*—well, I ain’t whinin’ now, buddy! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but one gal massaged my toes—TOES—and I near hollered, “Mission accomplished!”

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Then, just as I’m about to leave, he drops a flaming baton. It rolls right to my feet! I jump back like a scared cat. Everyone gasps, then bursts out laughing. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But I can’t help but laugh too.