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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses and whiskey. Saw this dude once, thought he was slick, haggled too hard, and bam, got a black eye faster’n you can say “Ofelia!” Shoulda known—ya don’t mess with folks who’ve seen it all. Pro tip: bring cash, keep it chill, and don’t be a dang fool. Oh, and fun fact—back in the ‘20s, some gals in New Orleans ran a whole secret brothel outta a church basement. Ballsy, right? History’s wild.

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s super sweet, starts chatting about her garden. I’m all ears. She’s got tomatoes the size of my head! I’m like, “Whoa, lady! Teach me your ways!” We laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the morning disaster.

3 Children Found Dead at Their Home in Kanagawa Pref.; Mother Arrested for Killing 9-Year-Old Son