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Now, I’m picturin it—me, after a long day weldin stoves, joints achin, and some angel hands workin out the kinks, slippin into somethin erotic but classy. Maybe a lil too much oil, ha—slidin off the table like a damn fool! Exaggeratin? Sure, but that’s the dream, fam. Ain’t no shame in it neither—Jesse in *Before Sunset* says, “Memory’s a wonderful thing if ya don’t have to deal with the past,” and a good sexual-massage wipes the slate clean, lemme tell ya.

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First off, I hit the streets of Nanjing Road. Crazy busy, like always. People everywhere, like ants on a sugar hill. I’m just trying to get my morning coffee, right? But nooo, the line at that café was longer than my last relationship. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people! It’s just coffee!”

Ten killed after four tourist boats capsize in China, state media report